Waiting for your manager to map your future is the most expensive mistake you can make. The second most expensive is continuing to languish under the spell of your parents, teachers, guidance counselor, or anyone else from your past. No one knows better than you how you really tick, how you really work, what culture is a good fit for you, what could make you hate your job. None of this means your manager doesn’t matter. A great manager can open doors, advocate for you, and accelerate your growth in ways that are genuinely powerful. But here’s the distinction that changes everything: your manager can be a tremendous resource — she or he is not, and should never be, your career director. That job belongs to you and only you. Many women drift because they were taught early, they should be grateful for what they get in life, and they shouldn’t ask for what they want. To plan and direct their career would show they have ambition. We all know what society says about ambitious women, right? Not flattering! If you are still trying to live out someone else’s dream career—a parent, a grandparent—know that it’s YOUR turn. Perhaps you had an influential teacher or guidance counselor that underestimated your potential or who was functioning out of strict gender expectations. So many forces working against you directing your career, yet you deserve better, you deserve to have the career that is right for you!
Consider this: A Catalyst study found that women are more likely than men to wait to be tapped for advancement rather than actively seeking it. Meanwhile, research from McKinsey & Company’s Women in the Workplace report consistently shows that women ask for promotions and negotiate salaries at lower rates than men — and are often less likely to self-promote their accomplishments. The result? A career that drifts instead of drives.
So, what does it actually look like to get in the driver’s seat?
- OWN YOUR VISION FIRST: Before you can direct your career, you have to know where you want it to go. That sounds obvious, but you’d be surprised how many talented women have never sat down and asked themselves: What do I actually want? Not what’s available. Not what I think I can get. What do I want? That question takes courage. It requires you to believe your ambitions are worth pursuing — which brings us straight into Power Professional Esteem territory. Imposter syndrome tells you to wait until you’re “ready enough.” Career ownership tells you to define the destination first, then build the readiness. Write down where you want to be in 3 years and in 7 years — be specific about title, scope, and impact. Identify the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. Skills? Visibility? Relationships? Treat this as a living document. Revisit it at least twice a year.
- BUILD YOUR BOARD OF DIRECTORS: CEOs don’t answer to one person. They have a board. Your career needs one too. This means actively cultivating:
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- A mentor — someone who has navigated a path similar to the one you want and will give you honest guidance.
- A sponsor — someone with influence who will speak up for you in rooms you’re not in. This is different from a mentor, and it is critical.
- A peer network — women (and men) at your level across functions and industries who share intelligence, opportunities, and candid feedback.
The numbers don’t lie: According to a Harvard Business Review study, women with sponsors are 27% more likely to ask for a stretch assignment and 22% more likely to ask for a raise. Yet women are significantly less likely than men to have a sponsor at all. The lesson? Stop waiting to be discovered. Start building relationships that create opportunities.
- HAVE THE CAREER CONVERSATION — DON’T WAIT FOR IT: How many women sit through annual reviews hoping their manager will bring up “what’s next” — and leave disappointed when they don’t? Here’s the reframe: you initiate that conversation. You walk in prepared with where you want to go, what you’ve accomplished, and what support you’re asking for. Your manager is a resource. Use that resource. Ask directly: “What would I need to demonstrate to be considered for [specific role or advancement]?” Then listen carefully, take notes, and hold both of you accountable. LinkedIn’s Workforce Confidence data shows that women who proactively discuss career development with their managers are significantly more likely to report career satisfaction and upward movement than those who wait for the conversation to be initiated from above.
- A FEW THINGS TO STOP DOING: Directing your career isn’t only about what you start doing. It’s also about what you stop. Stop assuming loyalty is enough. Tenure and dedication matter, but they don’t guarantee advancement. Visibility and strategy do. Stop shrinking your ambitions to what seems “realistic.” That ceiling is often one you’ve built yourself. Stop waiting for permission. You don’t need approval to network, to learn, to raise your hand, or to ask for what you want. Stop outsourcing your career to chance. Luck favors the prepared — and the visible.
Your manager may be wonderful. I hope she or he is. But even the most supportive manager in the world is managing their own priorities, their own pressures, and their own career. You are the only person in your organization — in your entire professional life — who is 100% invested in your future. Act like it. The corner office doesn’t go to the woman who waited. It goes to the woman who planned, prepared, and made herself impossible to overlook.
Have you been a drifter? Are other people still screaming in your ear what your career should look like? It can be daunting to go from drifting to directing. Need another Board Member, in the form of a career strategist? Let’s do a complimentary 45-minute consultation to turn you into a director! Email Kay@highheeledsucess.com to schedule.
Time’s-a-wastin’ may be an archaic term but the message is loud and clear – manage YOURSELF, so you will not waste precious time. You have heard it said 1000’s of times, “We all have 24 hours every day. It is what we do with them that makes us different.” If you are expecting an article about productivity tools, you might as well stop reading now. This article focuses on that internal debate about the value of your time, the value of your career and the value of yourself. Neither is this a “shame on you” article. You are human, with human needs, fears, and struggles. This is a retrospective of what I have learned about time in my career and what I have learned from client experiences.
What does it mean to navigate your boss? Perhaps you are familiar with the term: managing up? The Harvard Business Review defines managing up as “being the most effective employee you can be, creating value for your boss and your company.” If you do not have a good relationship with your manager, chances are life isn’t going to be easy, and your career could stall or even derail. This soft skill, of managing up, can greatly enhance your career. This isn’t about being a “suck up”! If you don’t understand what makes your boss tick, you can’t possibly know how to navigate the waters with her/him. Even if you don’t particularly like your manager, you can manage up. The quote from the late Zig Zigler is appropriate here, “You can get everything in life you want, if you will just help enough people get what they want.” Let’s say you don’t like your boss, and you buck him at every turn, maybe you have even been known to sabotage him. You may feel a bit of internal satisfaction, but you are sabotaging your own career. 
Yesterday, we had work done on our patio – pressure washing, repair, sealing, etc. It was 92 degrees, with no shade. My office is in my home, so periodically I checked on progress. I became increasingly concerned about the man doing the work. I loaded up a small cooler with ice and bottles of water and took it out to him. He looked surprised, thanked me, and went back to his tasks. Later he knocked and told me he was finished for the day. Then he said, “By the way, I power washed your small deck and steps, just my way of saying thanks for being so kind. Just don’t tell my boss!” A simple act of kindness came full circle for me. I didn’t do it to get something in return, rather because I was concerned for him. Sometimes we are kind just because it is the right thing to do. Sometimes, it’s just plain smart.
No, you don’t have a migraine, not having a stroke, no aneurysm, thank goodness! Yet, you do have a serious problem. It’s the women’s dilemma of mental overload. It is the mental burden for working women that includes juggling children and households. We are not talking about the actual physical labor of taking care of children, shopping, cleaning, etc., that physical work is visible and exhausting. However, the invisible mental overload can be even more destructive. Time management gurus usually talk about planning, prioritizing, time blocking etc., to be able to focus more effectively on work. We talk less often about the mental overload that limits women’s careers. What if you cannot focus at work because you are worrying about scheduling vet appointments, children’s parent/teacher conferences, and buying new clothes for your child? It’s bound to take a hit on your career. This mental overload for women is significant. It drains focus, creativity, problem solving and work satisfaction.
