My recent Tip Tuesday social media post read “To have a great professional reputation as confident, on top of things, and unflappable — be a duck! Yep, be a duck! You may be peddling like the very devil underwater but on top you look like you are gliding over water. Bosses, employees, clients, and co-workers think highly of individuals who have their act together. Craft your reputation by being a duck.” After I posted it, three clients reached out to me asking me to do a deeper dive into how this applies to leaders. I realized they were likely not the only ones who could benefit from this information. So here you go, leaders take heed. However, this information can apply to anyone in the workplace, whether you are in a leadership position or are a newbie to the workforce.
In a previous article, I wrote about the way so many American women have adopted the mantle of stress as a Badge of Courage! Many women equate stress to being a hard worker and successful. Nothing could be farther from the truth. If you want a great reputation and to have others benefit from your demeanor, exude calm.
Every day can be stressful in the workplace for leaders. There are deadlines to meet, budgets to create, feedback to give, etc. Remember, you set the tone for others. When you are calm, keep your emotions in check, and appear to have situations under control, staff members feel safe and secure. You create an environment of stability that people pick up on. In an LA Times article by Joyce E.A. Russell, she reports that according to a study by TalentSmart, 90% of top performers demonstrate the ability to manage their emotions and stay calm during stressful times. Leaders make better decisions and think more clearly when calm. During times of crisis, it’s even more important to show calm. When leaders become emotionally overwrought, so do their teams. Look around, in a workplace where the leader often “loses it” you will see low morale, low creativity, team conflicts and errors made.
Recently, one of my clients sent me feedback she had received about her leadership style from her team. One of the consistent themes was how much they respected and appreciated her ability to keep calm during challenging and stressful times. You can see how important it is to the team for the leader to remain calm but what about the leader herself? If the leader doesn’t keep calm under fire, Harvard Business School’s Online Blog reports:
- 53% of leaders become more closed-minded and controlling during times of stress
- 43% become angry and over-heated
Does that sound like the type of leader you would want to follow? Does that sound like the type of leader who would have a great reputation? Does that sound like the type of leader who would continue to be promoted? Unlikely, you would say “YES” to those three questions. In my coaching business, I have encountered clients who say being rattled during stressful times is just their personality and emotional makeup. Perhaps that has been your style in the past, but you can make headway toward becoming a duck. Here are three important ways you can develop that critical calm, not just as a façade, but as a legitimate part of your leadership style.
- Stop. Don’t act quickly. Give yourself time to really assess the situation. If you jump in an over-heated state, you are apt to show up frenzied, rattled, and driven by emotion. This doesn’t mean you won’t be emotional but take time to become more in control of your emotions. When you are in this agitated state you are apt to take unwise actions and speak in unwise ways. This may be a perfect time to recite the Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can, and
The Wisdom to know the difference.
Knowing what you can and cannot change will enable you to focus and take more appropriate action.
- Gather Support. This is the time to call in the troops! Hopefully, you have a support system that you can call on. It’s during times of calm waters that you develop your leader support system. I cannot state strongly enough that this is NOT your work team!!! If you attempt to use your employees as your support system, you do them and yourself a huge disservice. You do not need to be dumping on them, they are looking to you to be the oasis of calm. Plus, you may lose their respect if they see you out of control. This is the very reason my clients have Emergency Calls as part of their coaching package. I am a critical part of their support system. Sometimes we don’t even talk, they just send me an email and vent! I am the safe place for them to do that without repercussions. Sometimes all you need is an outlet, other times you need some perspective, and in some situations, you need advice.
- Gather History. Unless you were promoted to leadership yesterday, you have been in similar situations before. At the very least, you have other leadership challenges that you can pull from as a good self-role model. Perhaps, you didn’t handle difficult situations like a duck in the past. Consider what didn’t work then and do something significantly different now. If you don’t have a written log of situations you have overcome, now would be a great time to start this history. My log goes back decades. I have used that history more times than I can count to talk myself off the edge! This is an action I encourage many of my clients to develop for themselves.
Are you aware you are less like a gliding duck, and more like a flailing goose? Is your style holding back your career? Do you react versus respond wisely during difficult work situations? I may be able to offer some guidance. Let’s at least talk. High-Heeled Success offers 45-minute complimentary telephone consulting. Email Kay@hhighheeledsuccess.com or call 513-561-4288 to set a time for us to chat.