Tag Archive for performance

| February 26, 2025
No comments

The Scourge of Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome! This term is used frequently but do you really understand what it is, what it does, and how to manage it?  Most people do not, so let’s take a deeper dive.  In my decades of coaching women in the workplace to greater success, most of my clients have struggled with this scourge.  In fact, The International Journal of Behavioral Science states that 70% of people in the United States have experienced imposter syndrome sometime in their lives.  The term was first coined in the 1970’s by clinical psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes.  They noted that many high-achieving women believed they were not competent even though they had many accomplishments.  Often, this is a silent saboteur, feeling like fraud is often unvoiced due to feelings of shame.  The more it is not expressed, the more it is internalized.

Do you know the feeling of being terrified that other people will figure out that you do not belong in your role, that you are not up to promotion, that you are not who you say you are?  That is imposter syndrome.  Maybe you have a lifelong foundation of self-doubt and anxiety.  That is the breeding ground for imposter syndrome.  It often rears its ugly head at each new level of success for you.

Another underpinning of imposter syndrome can be understood through Attribution Theory.  Attribution Theory is the psychological concept that explains how people interpret their own behavior of success.  This often divides across gender lines.  More men tend to attribute their successes to being smart, skilled, and competent.  More women tend to attribute their successes to luck, the help of others, or a fluke.  It’s not surprising if a woman attributes all of her success to external factors, the groundwork is set for feeling like an imposter. 

There are many ways imposter syndrome thwarts success.  Imposter syndrome may prevent you from applying for a position for which you are qualified.  Often women will not apply unless they have every qualification the position lists.  Many men will apply with just a few qualifications.  At the very least, feeling like a fraud makes you anxious, hesitant, and restricted, not a good foundation for succeeding at the next opportunity.

One of the fascinating things about imposter syndrome is the inclusiveness of the behavior.  In my coaching practice, I coached CEO’s; COO’s, CFO’s; doctors; attorneys, tenured professors; all who have struggled with imposter syndrome.  Education level, position, and salary level are not protective shields from this undermining belief system.  So, if you are thinking – when I receive my Master’s; when I pass my CPA exam; when I have been in my field longer – then imposter syndrome will vanish, don’t delude yourself.  It is a hitchhiker that goes along for the ride.

O.K., you have determined, “Yep, this is me!  I am suffering from imposter syndrome.”  Maybe you are feeling very discouraged?  Now what?  I always remind my clients, “Shame surges in silence!”  When you have the courage to voice your deepest fears of feeling like a fraud to another human being, that’s when healing begins.  Understanding that you are not alone, knowing that this is a pretty common experience for women, can go a long way in reducing the shame.  Your first powerful step forward is finding a trusted individual to express these feelings.  Choose wisely, hopefully you have another woman in your circle who has shown up for you as a trusted confidante.  You are seeking someone who listens effectively, empathizes, and acknowledges your feelings.  Just like you need a buddy to go swimming, you need a buddy to crush imposter syndrome.  The best news of all?  You do not have to stay stuck in this success sabotaging loop.  There are concrete steps you can take to kick the feeling of being an imposter to the curb.  Keep reading, in Kay’s Corner I will give you a step-by-step process to actively attack imposter syndrome.  Try going through the steps in Kay’s Corner with your trusted friend.  Talking through each of the seven steps is a powerful experience that can begin to lift the weight of feeling like a fraud.  There is light at the end of this tunnel!  You deserve to own your accomplishments and feel confident as you step up in responsibility and roles!

Have you had your hand raised throughout this article?  Have you said, “I know imposter syndrome is sabotaging my career success.”  Are you looking for guidance in tackling this obstacle?  This is a frequent issue that clients come to me for coaching.  Would you like to determine if I might be the right person to assist you in turning this around?  Let’s do a complementary 45-minute phone consultation to see if we can kick imposter syndrome and other self-sabotaging behaviors to the curb for you.   Email Kay@highheeledsuccess.com or call (513) 561-4288 to schedule.

Category: Career Path, Gender Equity, Leadership, Uncategorized, Workplace | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
| April 19, 2021
No comments

Giving Fantastic Feedback

In a business group I belong to, we have been discussing the importance of feedback, both giving and receiving.  I have addressed receiving feedback in this newsletter previously.  Now let’s talk about giving feedback.  Most people are giving feedback at work daily.  Sometimes it is to colleagues, sometimes to team members, sometime to employees.  You likely have experiences in your history that evidence how you flourished because of some fantastic feedback.

I am betting that one component of your success was by whom it was given.  Perhaps you really admired the giver because of their personal characteristics.  Let’s say they had a career/home balance that you envied.  Maybe, you acknowledged the giver as experienced, you knew they had been there, done that and got the T-shirt. I currently have a client in a traditionally male field that has been mentored by a ground-breaking female in that industry.  She knows the mentor has not only survived the construction industry, but she has thrived.  Could be that the person giving feedback has expertise in an area about which you were clueless!  Early in my business, I craved feedback from individuals that knew marketing and sales inside out.  Why? Yep, you guessed it — CLUELESS! 

Next you valued the why it was given.  You were convinced that they had your best interest at heart.  They might have been trying to keep you from making a huge career mistake.  Let’s say you were interviewing for an internal position under a supervisor they knew had a history of treating her staff poorly.  Or just maybe you are one of those folks that have had a position in their career in which things were not going well.  You were written up previously and someone gave you feedback trying to prevent a “third strike you’re out”.  Likely, you were eternally grateful for that feedback because it kept you from being canned. Let’s say just the opposite, you were on the fast track, doing great.  There was that person that gave you the heads up that if only you did XYZ, you were perfect for a promotion.  I’m betting you were listening with open ears to that feedback.  It’s not uncommon to me to have a client referred to me by her boss because the XYZ feedback was, “When you add polished presentations to your skillset, you will be unstoppable in your career.”

The third component is the how.  Ding, ding, ding!  Even if you admire the person, believe it’s given to you with your success in mind, if it’s given poorly, the receiver may not listen.  It might sound like, “You SHOULD…”, most people resist and rebel with should statements. It might sound condescending, patronizing, or overwhelming.  Loud, poor timing and poor location are additional how factors. The flip side allows the receiver to hear.  It’s crafted as an idea or thought; it’s respectful; it is feasible feedback; and it is given at the right time and place. 

By now, the hope is that you have taken yourself back to receiving feedback and remembered why that feedback worked for YOU!  Also, you can remember why some feedback you ignored, deflected, or rebelled against.  Now it is time for you to put the high heels of the receiver on your giver feet.  Everything that didn’t or did work for you needs to be remembered.  Remembering and internalizing that information gives you a roadmap to being a successful feedback giver.  This won’t guarantee success, but it will up the possibility of a successful outcome. 

One of your goals can be to become a more balanced feedback giver.  There is a spectrum of giving.  You may be a person that is more aware of changes that need to be made, problems that need to be fixed, and tends to only give feedback when there is an issue.  Giving negative feedback is comfortable for you and seems appropriate.  At the other end of the spectrum, are people that want others to feel good, they believe in positive reinforcement, and are rather uncomfortable with conflict and confrontation.  Yet, the person that has good results with giving feedback has developed a balance.  They can and do give both negative and positive feedback.  In my coaching practice, I tend toward wanting to give more feedback that uplifts, inspires, and affirms clients.  Clients, however, hire me to help them over obstacles.  If I never make them aware of what may be tripping them up, then I am sacrificing the success of my client for what is comfortable and common for me.

We have only looked at giving feedback.  You are not an island in this process.  The person receiving your feedback has their own personality style, their own history of feedback, and other issues currently going in their life.  This creates an environment that may make them ripe for taking feedback or a sitting duck for being defensive, blowing up at you, or completely ignoring your feedback.  Plus, you do not want to miss Kay’s Consulting Corner in this newsletter, there I will give you some simple, yet powerful, steps on giving feedback that you will love.  Finally, if you realize that feedback is a career nemesis for you, the advertised VIP Day at the beginning of this newsletter could be a career-changing investment.

If feedback is one of the struggles you are having in your career, know that you are not alone.  This is a challenge for most people.  Let’s set of a time for a complimentary 45-minute telephone consultation to chat about this and how it plays into the coaching I do with clients.  Email Kay@highheeledsuccess.com to get a time for us to talk about this and other steps to your High-Heeled Success.

Category: Career Path, Leadership, Workplace | Tags: , , , ,
| August 24, 2019
No comments

Oh Yes, She Can! Performance Bias Unchained

Bias!  The four-letter word identifies cultural prejudice that’s rampant throughout our society and the workplace.  Today, most people in the workplace are more aware of unconscious or implicit bias, which is defined as prejudice or unsupported judgments in favor of or against one thing, person or group as compared to another, in a way that is usually considered unfair.

If we take that notion just a half-step further, it’s easy to see how performance bias is a very serious issue for women in the workplace.  Performance bias is based on deep-rooted assumptions about women’s and men’s abilities.  Bottom line, we tend to overestimate men’s performance and underestimate women’s performance.  Watch this 2-minute online video from Lean In to digest the seriousness of the issue.

Studies show that women are often hired based on past accomplishments and job experience, men are more likely hired based on future potential to achieve.  Insidious performance bias affects everything at work – from hiring, to performance reviews and ultimately to promotions and upward mobility.

When you remove gender from decision-making, however, the odds for women’s advancement go up.  Regardless of the criteria outlined for a position, the selection process bends to favor the male candidate every time.  There’s no question that women have to accomplish more to show they are equally as competent as men – I’ve experienced it, coached women through it and watched it happen for decades in the workplace.

Once we recognize performance bias for what it is, what do we do about it?  First ask yourself, what are the expectations and realities at your workplace?  Are women being promoted based on their potential or are they being promoted only after they’ve proven they can do the job and have a track-record of success?

How about you, could you be part of the problem?  Do you expect to be promoted based on your potential or your own past performance?  There’s not just bias in the workplace, we have also been conditioned to develop our own self-bias.

If you are the manager and the one who has the power to address performance bias in your workplace, it’s critical to examine your own bias.  Whether you’re interviewing, hiring or deciding who gets the next promotion, be deliberate and intentional in making these important decisions.

Each of us has a responsibility to learn specific ways performance bias shows up in the workplace and what we can do about it going forward.  If we don’t, we’re part of the problem.  If you’re experiencing performance bias and need help developing a strategy to overcome it, please give me a call at 513-561-4288 or connect with me via email at kay@highheeledsuccess.com.

Category: Career Path, Leadership, Workplace | Tags: , , , ,