Tag Archive for career women

| October 29, 2025
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Managing Up is Essential for Career Success

What does it mean to navigate your boss?  Perhaps you are familiar with the term: managing up?  The Harvard Business Review defines managing up as “being the most effective employee you can be, creating value for your boss and your company.”  If you do not have a good relationship with your manager, chances are life isn’t going to be easy, and your career could stall or even derail.  This soft skill, of managing up, can greatly enhance your career.  This isn’t about being a “suck up”!  If you don’t understand what makes your boss tick, you can’t possibly know how to navigate the waters with her/him.  Even if you don’t particularly like your manager, you can manage up.  The quote from the late Zig Zigler is appropriate here, “You can get everything in life you want, if you will just help enough people get what they want.”  Let’s say you don’t like your boss, and you buck him at every turn, maybe you have even been known to sabotage him.  You may feel a bit of internal satisfaction, but you are sabotaging your own career.  

Perhaps this sounds like a daunting task. It doesn’t have to be, if you take it step by step. Here are some keys to managing your manager. 

  • Determine the goals and priorities of your boss.  Every boss is different, even in the same workplace.  Perhaps your boss is an extrovert, and the priority is having you out of the office, networking to expand the reputation of the company.  Your focus has instead been on making sure every report is perfect, with no errors.  It is essential that you are focused on the work the boss cares about the most.  In addition to where to focus, you must know what your boss is shooting for.  Where does she see herself in five years?  Perhaps you work in the marketing department, where she desires to be the VP of Marketing when the current VP retires. Every opportunity you have to amplify her work with senior management is smart. With a great relationship, your boss may take you along with her as she moves upward. 
  • Determine the personality of your boss. Most workplaces do some find of personality assessment.  Perhaps your company uses DiSC Profile or other personality assessments.  Get your hands on that information!  That will tell you whether your boss tends to be dominant/action oriented, knowledge/logic oriented, nurturing/relationship oriented, or social/relationship oriented.  Action oriented bosses use words like: winning, excitement, opportunity; knowledge/logic-oriented use: research, competence, accuracy; nurturing/relationship-oriented use: authenticity, harmony, and ethics; social-oriented use: fun, image, significant.  Every personality assessment has different language.  Once you know the personality style of your manager, you can speak to them in their language.
  • Determine the communication style of your boss.  Is your boss very sociable and loves and really wants warm workplace relationships?  You would be smart to start your exchanges by asking about his weekend.  Does his daughter play basketball?  Ask about how her game went against her school’s archrival. If you jump in first with business, without some social interaction, you may be damaging your relationship.  Maybe that’s not your style, do it anyway.  Perhaps your boss is just the opposite, she is all business, all the time.  If you expect ten minutes of conversation about the weekend, you are not being smart!  Jump in ASAP, to the business at hand.  Every email should get to the point quickly, use bullets. Give a quick overview of what you need to communicate.  This is not difficult to discern, just listen and observe your manager for a week.  What are your meetings like with her?  What does her communication look like?  Does she stay in her office all the time or is she out frequently?  These interactions will give you the clues you need in communicating with her.   
  • Determine what could make life easier for your boss.  When you have a different personality than your manager, there are bound to be things you are great at doing that he absolutely hates.  Offer to take something off his plate that is not a fit for him.  He will thank you for that.  Perhaps he is a non-sense numbers kind of guy, but he does think a department newsletter is a smart idea.  Offer to write the newsletter with just a bullet list of items he says need to be covered.  Perhaps you can solve a problem for your boss.  I remember when I was the director of a department and spent frustrating hours on scheduling employees.  I not only hated doing it, but I was also not good at it.  Luckily, my employee Marty offered to do the scheduling!  She did it fast, without errors, and staff complained to her when they didn’t like how they were scheduled.  This was brilliant on her part, as I was eternally grateful and I showed my gratitude! 

Have you thought while reading this article that you need to navigate your boss? Are the specifics challenging in your situation?  Need more assistance in taking this journey?  I have tackled managing up with many clients. Let’s do a complimentary 45-minute consultation to determine if I might be the right person to direct you in navigating your boss.  Email Kay@highheeledsuccess.com or call 513-561-4288 to schedule.

Category: Career Path, Leadership, Uncategorized, Workplace | Tags: , , , ,
| February 26, 2025
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The Scourge of Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome! This term is used frequently but do you really understand what it is, what it does, and how to manage it?  Most people do not, so let’s take a deeper dive.  In my decades of coaching women in the workplace to greater success, most of my clients have struggled with this scourge.  In fact, The International Journal of Behavioral Science states that 70% of people in the United States have experienced imposter syndrome sometime in their lives.  The term was first coined in the 1970’s by clinical psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes.  They noted that many high-achieving women believed they were not competent even though they had many accomplishments.  Often, this is a silent saboteur, feeling like fraud is often unvoiced due to feelings of shame.  The more it is not expressed, the more it is internalized.

Do you know the feeling of being terrified that other people will figure out that you do not belong in your role, that you are not up to promotion, that you are not who you say you are?  That is imposter syndrome.  Maybe you have a lifelong foundation of self-doubt and anxiety.  That is the breeding ground for imposter syndrome.  It often rears its ugly head at each new level of success for you.

Another underpinning of imposter syndrome can be understood through Attribution Theory.  Attribution Theory is the psychological concept that explains how people interpret their own behavior of success.  This often divides across gender lines.  More men tend to attribute their successes to being smart, skilled, and competent.  More women tend to attribute their successes to luck, the help of others, or a fluke.  It’s not surprising if a woman attributes all of her success to external factors, the groundwork is set for feeling like an imposter. 

There are many ways imposter syndrome thwarts success.  Imposter syndrome may prevent you from applying for a position for which you are qualified.  Often women will not apply unless they have every qualification the position lists.  Many men will apply with just a few qualifications.  At the very least, feeling like a fraud makes you anxious, hesitant, and restricted, not a good foundation for succeeding at the next opportunity.

One of the fascinating things about imposter syndrome is the inclusiveness of the behavior.  In my coaching practice, I coached CEO’s; COO’s, CFO’s; doctors; attorneys, tenured professors; all who have struggled with imposter syndrome.  Education level, position, and salary level are not protective shields from this undermining belief system.  So, if you are thinking – when I receive my Master’s; when I pass my CPA exam; when I have been in my field longer – then imposter syndrome will vanish, don’t delude yourself.  It is a hitchhiker that goes along for the ride.

O.K., you have determined, “Yep, this is me!  I am suffering from imposter syndrome.”  Maybe you are feeling very discouraged?  Now what?  I always remind my clients, “Shame surges in silence!”  When you have the courage to voice your deepest fears of feeling like a fraud to another human being, that’s when healing begins.  Understanding that you are not alone, knowing that this is a pretty common experience for women, can go a long way in reducing the shame.  Your first powerful step forward is finding a trusted individual to express these feelings.  Choose wisely, hopefully you have another woman in your circle who has shown up for you as a trusted confidante.  You are seeking someone who listens effectively, empathizes, and acknowledges your feelings.  Just like you need a buddy to go swimming, you need a buddy to crush imposter syndrome.  The best news of all?  You do not have to stay stuck in this success sabotaging loop.  There are concrete steps you can take to kick the feeling of being an imposter to the curb.  Keep reading, in Kay’s Corner I will give you a step-by-step process to actively attack imposter syndrome.  Try going through the steps in Kay’s Corner with your trusted friend.  Talking through each of the seven steps is a powerful experience that can begin to lift the weight of feeling like a fraud.  There is light at the end of this tunnel!  You deserve to own your accomplishments and feel confident as you step up in responsibility and roles!

Have you had your hand raised throughout this article?  Have you said, “I know imposter syndrome is sabotaging my career success.”  Are you looking for guidance in tackling this obstacle?  This is a frequent issue that clients come to me for coaching.  Would you like to determine if I might be the right person to assist you in turning this around?  Let’s do a complementary 45-minute phone consultation to see if we can kick imposter syndrome and other self-sabotaging behaviors to the curb for you.   Email Kay@highheeledsuccess.com or call (513) 561-4288 to schedule.

Category: Career Path, Gender Equity, Leadership, Uncategorized, Workplace | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
| December 29, 2024
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The Career Impact of Mental Overload

No, you don’t have a migraine, not having a stroke, no aneurysm, thank goodness!  Yet, you do have a serious problem.  It’s the women’s dilemma of mental overload.  It is the mental burden for working women that includes juggling children and households.  We are not talking about the actual physical labor of taking care of children, shopping, cleaning, etc., that physical work is visible and exhausting.  However, the invisible mental overload can be even more destructive.  Time management gurus usually talk about planning, prioritizing, time blocking etc., to be able to focus more effectively on work.  We talk less often about the mental overload that limits women’s careers.  What if you cannot focus at work because you are worrying about scheduling vet appointments, children’s parent/teacher conferences, and buying new clothes for your child?  It’s bound to take a hit on your career.  This mental overload for women is significant.  It drains focus, creativity, problem solving and work satisfaction.

Below is an article recently published by the Most Powerful Women Daily Newsletter from Fortune, with Emma Hinchliffe on December 20, 2024.  It is captured verbatim to not miss any insightful information. 

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Ana Catalano Weeks, a senior lecturer in comparative politics at the University of Bath who often studies gender and society, has two new research papers that study the impact of the mental load on women.  The first, published with University of Melbourne sociology professor Leah Ruppanner in the Journal of Marriage and Family, follows parents in the U.S. and found that mothers carry, on average, 71% of the mental load.  This includes the unseen work that precedes physical work: noticing that the faucet is leaking and must be repaired, remembering when to schedule a doctor’s appointment or cut the kids’ nails, or keeping track of who to give gifts to each holiday season.

Catalano Weeks’ research is among the first to quantitatively, rather than qualitatively, study this labor.  “This is work that goes on in people’s heads, so it’s not really possible to observe it,” she explains — compared to typical measures of physical labor like time-use surveys.

So why do women get stuck doing the overwhelming majority of this work?  Like with the physical labor of housework, it’s a way of “performing gender,” the researchers found.  “The work itself isn’t visible, but the implications of it are,” Catalano Weeks says.  If parents don’t remember that it’s Christmas sweater day at school or that the kids are outgrowing their shoes, the mom is typically the one who internalizes that lapse.

Which brings us to Catalano Weeks’ second study:  the impact of all this labor on women’s roles in public life through a study of working parents in the U.K.  The research, accepted by the British Journal of Political Science but not yet published, finds some of the first causal evidence between the mental load and women’s participation in the workforce and political life.  It’s not that women don’t have enough time, but that the cognitive load takes up more space in their minds and “crowds out” the ability or desire to take on additional responsibility at work.  Men, who more often are able to forget about the never-ending work of managing a home and family, don’t see that phenomenon to the same degree.

What’s unique about the mental load is the way it cuts across class and privilege.  Unlike physical household labor like chores, it’s near impossible to outsource the entire mental load; even for the wealthiest couples who hire a household manager or equivalent staffer to handle much of this work, someone would still carry the mental load of managing that person.

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Does this sound like you?  This is a topic that I have addressed in keynotes, training, and with individual clients for many years.  Here is an activity I conduct at corporate training events that always causes laughter, sometimes tears, and nods of recognition:

Two female volunteers pretend to be watching a football game, and I become a journalist interviewing them.  One volunteer reacts as a female and the other reacts as a male.  I ask the female “What are you thinking about right now?”  She often responds, “I am worried that the sitter is actually paying attention to my twins, if I remembered to get out their pajamas, and if my presentation at work tomorrow needs to be tweaked.”  When I ask the “male”, he responds, “Is Burrow going to be sacked on this play?”  This could easily be reversed asking women what they are thinking about when they are at their work desk.  You can see the potential challenge of focus, productivity, and career advancement.

If your career is floundering because of this mental overload, you are not alone.  This is an issue often discussed, processed, and managed with my individual clients.  It CAN be changed.  If you are ready to tackle this issue and need guidance, let’s talk.  We can do a complimentary 45-minute telephone consultation.  Email Kay@highheeledsuccess.com or call 513-561-4288 to schedule. 

Category: Career Path, Gender Equity, Leadership, Work/Life Balance | Tags: , , , ,
| April 19, 2021
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Giving Fantastic Feedback

In a business group I belong to, we have been discussing the importance of feedback, both giving and receiving.  I have addressed receiving feedback in this newsletter previously.  Now let’s talk about giving feedback.  Most people are giving feedback at work daily.  Sometimes it is to colleagues, sometimes to team members, sometime to employees.  You likely have experiences in your history that evidence how you flourished because of some fantastic feedback.

I am betting that one component of your success was by whom it was given.  Perhaps you really admired the giver because of their personal characteristics.  Let’s say they had a career/home balance that you envied.  Maybe, you acknowledged the giver as experienced, you knew they had been there, done that and got the T-shirt. I currently have a client in a traditionally male field that has been mentored by a ground-breaking female in that industry.  She knows the mentor has not only survived the construction industry, but she has thrived.  Could be that the person giving feedback has expertise in an area about which you were clueless!  Early in my business, I craved feedback from individuals that knew marketing and sales inside out.  Why? Yep, you guessed it — CLUELESS! 

Next you valued the why it was given.  You were convinced that they had your best interest at heart.  They might have been trying to keep you from making a huge career mistake.  Let’s say you were interviewing for an internal position under a supervisor they knew had a history of treating her staff poorly.  Or just maybe you are one of those folks that have had a position in their career in which things were not going well.  You were written up previously and someone gave you feedback trying to prevent a “third strike you’re out”.  Likely, you were eternally grateful for that feedback because it kept you from being canned. Let’s say just the opposite, you were on the fast track, doing great.  There was that person that gave you the heads up that if only you did XYZ, you were perfect for a promotion.  I’m betting you were listening with open ears to that feedback.  It’s not uncommon to me to have a client referred to me by her boss because the XYZ feedback was, “When you add polished presentations to your skillset, you will be unstoppable in your career.”

The third component is the how.  Ding, ding, ding!  Even if you admire the person, believe it’s given to you with your success in mind, if it’s given poorly, the receiver may not listen.  It might sound like, “You SHOULD…”, most people resist and rebel with should statements. It might sound condescending, patronizing, or overwhelming.  Loud, poor timing and poor location are additional how factors. The flip side allows the receiver to hear.  It’s crafted as an idea or thought; it’s respectful; it is feasible feedback; and it is given at the right time and place. 

By now, the hope is that you have taken yourself back to receiving feedback and remembered why that feedback worked for YOU!  Also, you can remember why some feedback you ignored, deflected, or rebelled against.  Now it is time for you to put the high heels of the receiver on your giver feet.  Everything that didn’t or did work for you needs to be remembered.  Remembering and internalizing that information gives you a roadmap to being a successful feedback giver.  This won’t guarantee success, but it will up the possibility of a successful outcome. 

One of your goals can be to become a more balanced feedback giver.  There is a spectrum of giving.  You may be a person that is more aware of changes that need to be made, problems that need to be fixed, and tends to only give feedback when there is an issue.  Giving negative feedback is comfortable for you and seems appropriate.  At the other end of the spectrum, are people that want others to feel good, they believe in positive reinforcement, and are rather uncomfortable with conflict and confrontation.  Yet, the person that has good results with giving feedback has developed a balance.  They can and do give both negative and positive feedback.  In my coaching practice, I tend toward wanting to give more feedback that uplifts, inspires, and affirms clients.  Clients, however, hire me to help them over obstacles.  If I never make them aware of what may be tripping them up, then I am sacrificing the success of my client for what is comfortable and common for me.

We have only looked at giving feedback.  You are not an island in this process.  The person receiving your feedback has their own personality style, their own history of feedback, and other issues currently going in their life.  This creates an environment that may make them ripe for taking feedback or a sitting duck for being defensive, blowing up at you, or completely ignoring your feedback.  Plus, you do not want to miss Kay’s Consulting Corner in this newsletter, there I will give you some simple, yet powerful, steps on giving feedback that you will love.  Finally, if you realize that feedback is a career nemesis for you, the advertised VIP Day at the beginning of this newsletter could be a career-changing investment.

If feedback is one of the struggles you are having in your career, know that you are not alone.  This is a challenge for most people.  Let’s set of a time for a complimentary 45-minute telephone consultation to chat about this and how it plays into the coaching I do with clients.  Email Kay@highheeledsuccess.com to get a time for us to talk about this and other steps to your High-Heeled Success.

Category: Career Path, Leadership, Workplace | Tags: , , , ,