For women, this is particularly important because we have a long history of being taught, directly and indirectly, to make ourselves smaller. Sit with your legs together. Keep your elbows in. Don’t gesture too much. Don’t be too loud. Don’t appear aggressive. Don’t take over the room. In other words, be professional — but preferably in a smaller font.

Before you say a word in a meeting, your body has already entered the conversation. Your posture, the space you occupy, where you sit, how you gesture, and even what you do with your feet are sending messages about your confidence, authority and engagement. The question is: Is your body reinforcing your professional message — or quietly undermining it?

Research on women’s bodies in the workplace supports the idea that women experience considerable pressure to manage how their bodies look and behave at work. In her research on women’s embodied identities, organizational communication scholar Angela Trethewey found that women’s bodies are not simply present in the workplace; they are continually interpreted and managed through appearance, posture and other nonverbal behaviors. Her 1999 article, “Disciplined Bodies: Women’s Embodied Identities at Work,” describes the professional woman’s body as one that is expected to send particular messages through its comportment and nonverbal behavior. More recently, Vanessa Beck’s 2023 review of research on women’s bodies at work examined how women are often expected to discipline, manage and sometimes minimize their physical presence in professional settings.

That history matters because some of us still walk into a conference room and unconsciously make ourselves smaller. We perch on the edge of the chair. We cross our legs tightly. We fold our arms close to our bodies. We tuck our elbows in. We sit in the corner. We may even lean back or physically retreat when someone challenges an idea. None of these behaviors makes you less competent, of course — but when they become habitual, they can communicate uncertainty or lack of presence.

Taking up space is not the same as taking over. It means allowing your physical presence to match your professional presence. Sit comfortably in the chair. Let your arms rest naturally on the table. Keep your shoulders open. Use gestures that are large enough to emphasize your ideas . And keep both feet planted on the floor with your weight reasonably distributed. Your feet are your foundation. When your body is grounded, you are less likely to fidget, collapse into the chair or retreat physically when the conversation gets challenging.

Your gestures matter, too. Don’t shrink your gestures because you are trying to look “professional.” If you are making an important point, let your hands participate. Open your palms. Gesture outward when you’re expanding an idea. Use your hands to emphasize a key point. You don’t need to become a human windmill, but you also don’t need to conduct an orchestra with two-inch movements.

And then there is where you sit. At a conference table, positioning can affect your visibility and ability to participate. If you are an employee and the leader is sitting at the head or end of a rectangular table, consider sitting diagonally across from the leader rather than disappearing down the side or hiding in the corner. You have a direct line of sight, can easily make eye contact, and remain visible during the conversation. If you want to be perceived as someone who contributes strategically, position yourself where you can participate strategically.

If you are the boss, think about your physical position differently. Standing at the beginning of a meeting, when making an important announcement, or when you want to shift the energy of the room can establish presence and signal that something important is happening. Sitting among your team can create a different message — one of accessibility and collaboration. Neither is “right.” The key is to use your position intentionally rather than letting the room decide your presence for you.

And what about when you’re the employee? When a senior person enters the room and everyone else stands, stand. When you are introducing yourself or someone else, stand when appropriate. When you are presenting, standing can give your voice, gestures and physical presence more room. But you don’t need to stand simply to prove that you are confident. Confidence isn’t measured in vertical inches. Know when to stand, know when to sit, and be intentional about both.

There is also encouraging research behind the idea that our bodies can influence how we feel. Amy Cuddy, Caroline Wilmuth and Dana Carney’s research on preparatory power posing found that people who adopted expansive postures before a high-stakes job interview demonstrated stronger nonverbal presence and were more likely to be selected for hire. More broadly, Cuddy, Schultz and Fosse’s 2018 analysis of 55 studies found evidence that expansive postures can increase people’s subjective feelings of power.

That distinction is important. You don’t need to stand in a superhero pose in the restroom before every meeting and expect your hormones to transform you into Wonder Woman. The more useful message is this: how you carry yourself can influence how powerful you feel. And when you feel more grounded and powerful, you are more likely to bring that presence into the room.

So the next time you walk into a meeting, notice what your body does automatically. Do you look for the smallest chair? Do you sit on your hands? Do you pull your arms and legs inward? Do you take the corner seat? Do your gestures disappear when you are making an important point? If so, don’t criticize yourself. Y ou may simply be repeating behaviors women have been socialized to use for generations.

But now you have a choice.

At High-Heeled Success®, we believe women don’t need to become someone else to succeed . They need strategies that position them to be seen, heard and recognized for the value they bring. Your body is part of that strategy.

Take up the space your role requires. Plant your feet. Open your posture. Use your hands . Choose your seat strategically. Stand when the moment calls for it. And most importantly, stop physically apologizing for being in the room.

You earned your seat at the table. Now make sure your body knows it.

Have you faded into the shadows for far too long?   Do you know your body language screams lack of confidence, lack of power, and influence?  If you have been shrinking your entire life, changing may feel overwhelming.  That is where I come in.  Would you like to do a complimentary 45-minute consultation to determine if I could guide you in expanding your space and expanding your career?  Email Kay@highheeledsuccess.com or call (513) 561-4288 to schedule.