| November 9, 2011
2 comments

Here We Go Again? No…Here We Go Still

Managing a Hostile Work Environment

There are few topics that get more polarized responses from each gender than sexual harassment.  Never in my wildest nightmare did I expect in 2011 to be talking about this issue in the same polarized way as we are discussing the Herman Cain allegations. When I first entered the workforce the terms: “Honey”, “Girl”, and “Baby” were common references to women.  It was standard fare for men to expect “perks” from women for the crumbs that were thrown on the table of the workplace.  Then the term sexual harassment didn’t even exist.  The bad behavior of males at work was just the way it was.  Shoot, we weren’t all that very far away from a time when my grandmother could not even vote.

Fast forward to 2011 and here we go still.  Entitlement is an ugly thing.  How will we stem the tide of male entitlement?  Let’s look at two “how to” thoughts.  One of these is certainly at your discretion, the other might be.

What do you normally do when someone oversteps a boundary with you?  Do you in very clear words telegraph the line has been crossed?  If a colleague comes into your office and begins that put his paws on the items on your desk what do you say?  “That’s private please don’t mess with my stuff!”  Are you just and clear and forceful when it comes to unwanted comments or touches?  Isn’t it interesting that many women won’t hesitate to say “don’t touch my stuff” but balks at saying “don’t touch me.”  Don’t get me wrong, I am NOT blaming you for men’s bad behavior but somehow we have to be part of the solution.  It takes courage to state our boundaries but that pales in comparison to the courage that it takes to file a sexual harassment claim.  Your words, your steely stare, and your unequivocal tone are all part of the solution.

If you are a parent, grandparent, or teacher what an opportunity you have.  Today is the day to be setting a new standard for our sons and daughters.  How effective are you in conveying where the rights of girls begin and where the rights of boys end?  Males didn’t learn entitlement their first day on the job did they?  We learn entitlement from the day we are born.  Have the courage to help create a child who understands the rights of others.  Until next time, have courage and be part of the solution.

©Copyright 2011.  Kay Fittes.  All Rights Reserved.

Category: Uncategorized |
| November 7, 2011
One comment

The Woman’s High-Heeled Manifesto

Women to the Right of You, Women to the Left of You:
The Value of Single Gender Classrooms, Labs, Trainings

As more young women are encouraged to pursue education and careers in the STEM fields: science, technology, engineering and math, yet another area for the raging controversy re: single gender environments emerge.  Do we do a service or disservice to females putting them in a single gender atmosphere?  Some would propose that without the opportunity to learn “real world” gender behavior we do females a disservice.

When the AAUW first published Short Changing Girls, Short Changing America there was no question that girls were treated differently in the classroom than boys.  They were often ignored, not challenged to provide in-depth answers, and generally held to lower expectations.  The controversy rears its head again in STEM collegiate laboratories across the country, school districts studying the value of single gender classrooms and trainers, like me, who offer female only workshops.  Read the article by Martha Irvine about Dr. Elizabeth Harbron’s lab at the University of William and Mary.  This lab is a perfect example of the value of single gender environments.  Though she didn’t set out to create a “female only” lab, that is what emerged and what led many female students to flourish.

As women, we ask ourselves why we often reach our highest potential in single sex classrooms, labs, or training environments.  It’s an opportunity to practice, practice, and practice.  Practice identifying our opinions, beliefs, and perspectives free from testosterone fueled bravado.  If you have never been asked your opinion, never been asked to “prove your case”, or stand your ground then chances are your confidence level is shaky.  Add a pinch of shaky plus a big cup of bluster and what do you get?  You create an atmosphere much like the asinine chaos of Sports Center.  If you have ever watched the “desk wars” on Saturday morning prior to or during a collegiate football game then you know what I’m talking about.  Who can interrupt the loudest, most frequently, and with greatest arrogance?  Is it any wonder that many women would prefer to test their confidence and skills in an environment that at least is civil?

On those occasions that my seminars have both female and male participants, this “step up and speak out” issue arises even for mature professionals.  Time after time, I have observed competent, bright, and articulate women defer to the men in the room.  If grown women will continue to yield to men in professional training workshops, then it should be no surprise you that school girls and college women struggle.  Given the opportunity, find every opportunity to create environments where women can test their wings without male wing clippers on the loose.  Every corporation that has Women’s Initiatives should be applauded.

©Copyright 2011.  Kay Fittes.  All Rights Reserved.

Category: Career Path |
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