{"id":955,"date":"2024-04-22T23:00:21","date_gmt":"2024-04-23T03:00:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/?p=955"},"modified":"2024-04-23T11:51:34","modified_gmt":"2024-04-23T15:51:34","slug":"standing-your-ground-to-be-heard-in-your-career","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/?p=955","title":{"rendered":"Standing Your Ground to be Heard in Your Career"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignleft size-full is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AdobeStock_766241589.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AdobeStock_766241589.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-956\" width=\"256\" height=\"144\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AdobeStock_766241589.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AdobeStock_766241589-300x168.jpg 300w, https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/AdobeStock_766241589-768x431.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 256px) 100vw, 256px\" \/><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>If you don\u2019t watch out, your voice can be rolled over, just like a steam roller smashing everything in its path.&nbsp; You\u2019ve seen steam rollers on the highway, machines with giant rollers that flatten everything in their path.&nbsp; You don\u2019t want to be smashed.&nbsp; I am presenting a workshop on this issue at a conference at the end of April. &nbsp;Talking with a client, I happened to mention the workshop topic and she commented that this is a significant problem in her workplace.&nbsp; She suggested I write a newsletter about this \u2014 here you go!&nbsp; What does it mean to go \u201cToe to Toe\u201d?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Your ideas, perspectives, and recommendations are heard and acted upon at work<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You are physically visible and recognized in the workplace<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You are treated with respect and equality in the workplace<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>To stand your ground, get your ideas across, and have credibility without being perceived negatively, is no easy trick for a woman.&nbsp; Yet without credibility and powerful communication, it is an uphill battle to succeed in your career.  History is not on women\u2019s side.&nbsp; Bias, stereotypes, and sexism toward women has lasted through antiquity.&nbsp; Thankfully, we have laws today that give women <strong>some<\/strong> protection against the most blatant abuses.&nbsp; However, laws do not protect us from being constantly interrupted, talked over, ignored, dismissed, and talked down to.&nbsp; If leadership would demand a culture of equality and respect in their organization, women would certainly see their opportunities and careers shift.&nbsp; If you are in a leadership role, pay close attention to the culture in your workplace.&nbsp; It can be frightening and intimidating to go \u201cToe to Toe\u201d but no one cares more about your daily experience and long-term success than you!&nbsp; Take the reigns!&nbsp; You can start shifting your behavior immediately!  Here are three problems you likely encounter and steps you can take to shift your experience:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol type=\"1\">\n<li><strong>Being interrupted<\/strong>.&nbsp; Dr. Kristin J Anderson, professor at the University of Houston and Dr. Campbell Leaper, professor at the University of California, have analyzed 43 studies on men\/women and interruptions.&nbsp; Their findings show men interrupt women 96% of the time and women often acquiesce.&nbsp; When a woman avoids addressing and managing it, she loses credibility and an opportunity to get her points across.&nbsp; It is tricky, because when you start to change your behavior, you can be perceived as the \u201cB\u201d word.&nbsp; If you don\u2019t address it, you will continue to collide.&nbsp; There are many steps you can take, try these three:\n<ul>\n<li>Just keep talking and ignore the interruption<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Use the interrupters\u2019 name and use an open palm, stop motion<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Say, \u201cI\u2019m not done\u201d \u201cI haven\u2019t finished\u201d or \u201cJust a minute.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<ol type=\"1\" start=\"2\">\n<li><strong>Manage comments.&nbsp; <\/strong>Some comments women hear from men in the workplace are blatantly sexist, some are condescending, some are demeaning.&nbsp; Likely, you have heard versions of all of these.&nbsp; Dr. Sian Beilock, President of Dartmouth University, coined the term \u201cBenevolent Sexism.\u201d Check out this insightful Forbes article about this issue: <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.forbes.com\/sites\/sianbeilock\/2020\/01\/07\/how-to-address-subtle-friendly-sexism-at-work\/?sh=21c1607b350c\" target=\"_blank\">How To Address Subtle, \u2018Friendly\u2019 Sexism At Work<\/a>.&nbsp; It is usually not intended to be offensive but because it singles out women as different, it puts women in a marginalized position.&nbsp; It stems from ignorance versus maliciousness. You may be called \u201cBossy;\u201d \u201cFeisty;\u201d Emotional;\u201d \u201cDramatic;\u201d \u201cOver-Sensitive,\u201d etc.&nbsp; Regardless of subtle or blatant, here are options:\n<ul>\n<li>Identify higher expectancy. Comments like, \u201cI know you didn\u2019t mean to put me down, but that word feels demeaning.\u201d&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Call out sexism.&nbsp; Blatant sexism, not the \u201cfriendly\u201d type needs to be named and called out.&nbsp; It might sound like, \u201cIt\u2019s interesting that you called Nancy \u201cshrill.\u201d&nbsp; I don\u2019t hear men with strong opinions called that.&nbsp; Have you ever thought about that?&nbsp; That is sexist.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Use humor.&nbsp; Not every woman is comfortable with this or can pull it off.&nbsp; Once in a meeting a man said, \u201cYou are such a cute little thing.\u201d&nbsp; My response? I turned to him and said, \u201cYou are a cute little thing yourself.\u201d&nbsp; He turned bright red, realized his mistake, and apologized.&nbsp; He never said anything like that to me again.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<ol type=\"1\" start=\"3\">\n<li><strong>Manage affect.&nbsp; <\/strong>Your face is a phenomenal tool for going \u201ctoe to toe.\u201d&nbsp; I have been quoted as saying, \u201cOften our indignation forgets to tell our face.\u201d  When you are feeling ignored, insulted, marginalized and you do not LOOK distressed, that\u2019s a problem.&nbsp; Throughout history women have heard, \u201cYou are so pretty when you smile.\u201d&nbsp;&nbsp;Understand that smiling in a negative situation sends a very mixed message.&nbsp; It is essential that your reaction and your affect match.&nbsp; Consider these three actions when you are boiling inside:\n<ul>\n<li>Go stone-faced.&nbsp; A neural face equals power.  Smiling telegraphs vulnerability and you are trying to reduce your vulnerability.&nbsp;&nbsp;It is clear you are not willing to take the comments and behavior you are encountering.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Employ the \u201cPat Summitt Glare.\u201d&nbsp; As some of you know, I am a University of Tennessee graduate.&nbsp; Fortunate to have witnessed the legendary women\u2019s basketball coach at U.T. for decades.&nbsp; Pat\u2019s players would tell you that there was never a more loving, caring, or personally concerned coach for her players than Pat Summitt.&nbsp;They would also tell you, if Pat were displeased with your performance on the court, her icy stare could render your legs into jelly.&nbsp;&nbsp; Try out this affect and see what it does for you.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Avoid eye contact.&nbsp; No, I am not confused.&nbsp; This sounds like just the opposite recommendation.&nbsp;  Avoiding eye contact is used when the offending person is your boss or other individual higher than you in your organization.&nbsp; You must be more diplomatic with these individuals.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Are you experiencing the problems discussed in this article?&nbsp; Do you want to make changes but<\/strong> <strong>are<\/strong> <strong>nervous about trying these ideas?&nbsp; Remember, you don\u2019t have to go it alone.&nbsp; Let\u2019s schedule a time for a 45-minute complimentary telephone consultation.&nbsp; Email <\/strong><a href=\"mailto:Kay@highheeledsuccess.com\"><strong>Kay@highheeledsuccess.com<\/strong><\/a><strong> or call (513)561-4288 to set a time for us to talk.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you don\u2019t watch out, your voice can be rolled over, just like a steam roller smashing everything in its path.&nbsp; You\u2019ve seen steam rollers on the highway, machines with giant rollers that flatten everything in their path.&nbsp; You don\u2019t want to be smashed.&nbsp; I am presenting a workshop on this issue at a conference<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[3,106,26,17],"tags":[53,30,142,9,138,27,139,140,141,19,137,6,42],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7Qkhe-fp","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/955"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=955"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/955\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":969,"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/955\/revisions\/969"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=955"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=955"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=955"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}