Most of us want to be liked as we go through our day \u2013 it\u2019s more pleasant, even more comfortable.\u00a0 Being liked in the workplace, however, isn\u2019t the most advantageous quality for your career advancement and can even be a trap for women as they navigate a balance between traditionally masculine and feminine traits or characteristics.<\/p>\n
I got the idea to write about this topic after reading the opinion piece, \u201cHow Women Escape the Likability Trap,\u201d<\/em> by Joan C. Williams, a professor of law and director of the Center for WorkLife Law at the University of California Hastings College of the Law, published in The New York Times<\/em> on August 18, 2019.<\/p>\n \u201cThere has been a lot of talk recently in the political arena about the likability trap for women:\u00a0 Women who behave in authoritative ways risk being disliked as insufferable prima donnas, pedantic schoolmarms or witchy women,\u201d writes Williams.<\/p>\n Williams goes on to write about how successful women overcome this form of gender bias.\u00a0 It was enlightening for me to read her take on this important topic.<\/p>\n In my many years of career coaching and mentoring women to overcome challenges in the workplace, I have found three of the most common traps women can fall into.\u00a0 We call them likability traps, and these are the most common:<\/p>\n Now that we know what to watch for, what can we do about these likability traps?\u00a0 First, delete from your vocabulary (and your way of thinking) terms like femininity and masculinity.\u00a0 Instead think in terms of the appropriate tools to use for the circumstances, such as collaboration or even command.<\/p>\n Collaboration and consensus-building are vital when you\u2019re seeking input from others.\u00a0 It\u2019s always a good idea to solicit additional ideas from others when you\u2019re trying to brainstorm or bring creativity into your workplace.\u00a0 These skills \u2013 collaboration and consensus-building\u00a0\u2013 are absolutely essential to certain situations.\u00a0 That is not about being feminine or masculine \u2013 that is simply smart!<\/p>\n Take each situation for what it is and ask yourself \u201cWhat works situationally?\u201d\u00a0 Go another step and ask, \u201cWhat gives me the outcome I\u2019m looking for?\u201d\u00a0 When we want input, creative ideas and buy-in to build consensus, use your smart skills and avoid relying on a gender crutch.<\/p>\n On the other hand, there are many occasions when you need a commanding style.\u00a0\u00a0When someone needs to step up and take the lead, when no one else is stepping up or when time is of the essence, being the team member who can take command and lead a group to a resolution is incredibly valuable.<\/p>\n As you\u2019re assessing the situation, be ready for the times when you can\u2019t go down the collaborative, consensus building road, because you need to make a decision.\u00a0 If you recognize the opportunity, you will shine!<\/p>\n\n