If you\u2019re someone who Is easily put-off, feels you\u2019re being criticized, overwhelmed or picked-on at work, maybe it\u2019s time for you to learn how to not take things so personally in the workplace.\u00a0 To be blunt, it\u2019s time to grow a thicker skin and grow up!\u00a0 Put your big girl pants on!<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve seen this issue surface with coaching clients many times, and once you realize how to have a thicker skin, the benefits are huge.\u00a0 When you can be pragmatic and less emotional, you will be seen as more of a professional, as someone who is tougher in the workplace and capable of playing with the big dogs.<\/p>\n
A certain toughness will make you less vulnerable to the constant changes that can simply be part of everyday office politics and workplace changes.\u00a0 For example, if you\u2019re used to doing a project a certain way and parameters change, there\u2019s less stress on you as the individual if you can roll with the changes.<\/p>\n
Taking things too personally also takes a toll on your productivity.\u00a0 For example, you are more creative and productive when you take things less personally.\u00a0 The reality is, it takes mental and sometimes physical energy just to get through the day when you take things too personally.<\/p>\n
And, the risks are too great, when you outwardly display your inability to put your big girl pants on.\u00a0 When you respond to perceived slights and show that you\u2019ve taken something personally, you\u2019re seen as someone who is defensive at best and worst case, you\u2019re perceived as a whiner.\u00a0 Unfortunately, you can be seen as someone who is not willing and ready to grow in your professional development.<\/p>\n
Bottom line, you live in intense fear and stress, maybe to the point of paranoia, when you take things personally in the workplace.\u00a0 To help you learn how to deflect these unnecessary and sometimes harmful reactions in the workplace, remember some of these important realizations in your everyday dealings at work:<\/p>\n
When taking things personally, a common first instinct is to get a new job.\u00a0 You need to manage that response and simply learn to own your behaviors and take things less personally.\u00a0 I\u2019m here to tell you this isn\u2019t easy — we are who we are, flawed and growing all the time.<\/p>\n
For example, I had a coaching client come to me, because she felt persecuted at work.\u00a0 She reported crying about everything and left in tears every day.\u00a0 One of the first things she said was, \u201cI\u2019m constantly being criticized by my boss.\u201d\u00a0 Her issues showed up right away in her interactions with me, making this criticism seem justified.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, she was late for coaching calls and didn\u2019t complete her assessments.\u00a0 She would agree to everything I suggested, then she didn\u2019t have it done.\u00a0 These were the exact same things she was hearing from her boss.\u00a0 She was always late, didn\u2019t get work done, and always had an excuse.\u00a0 Yes, she would always agree and say, \u201cYes, I can get that done.\u201d<\/p>\n
When we uncovered what was happening, I think it was one of the longest pregnant pauses I\u2019ve ever experienced.\u00a0 She said, \u201cYou\u2019re right, I\u2019m taking things personally because these are personal problems.\u201d\u00a0 So, if this is you or you have some growing up to do, you\u2019re not a bad person, just put your big girl pants on and move on!<\/p>\n
Look at everything from a very pragmatic, business perspective.\u00a0 Ask yourself, what will it take to do this?\u00a0 If you\u2019re making errors, do you need to slow down?\u00a0 Maybe you need more technical skills to sharpen your performance.\u00a0 Maybe there are areas where you actually need to say, okay fine, take the next step and don\u2019t think about it too much.\u00a0 Sometimes, it simply is what it is.<\/p>\n