{"id":113,"date":"2015-02-16T16:35:32","date_gmt":"2015-02-16T21:35:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/?p=113"},"modified":"2018-04-17T15:00:25","modified_gmt":"2018-04-17T19:00:25","slug":"building-self-confidence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/?p=113","title":{"rendered":"Building Self-Confidence"},"content":{"rendered":"

Are you lacking confidence in aspects of your professional\u00a0life?\u00a0 Does it seem impossible to imagine that you could ever have the\u00a0confidence necessary to handle certain situations?\u00a0 If it seems everywhere you\u00a0look, confident people dominate the landscape, and you are the exception, take\u00a0heart.\u00a0 The truth is, babies are the most confident people on the planet, not\u00a0adults.\u00a0 Although it seems counter intuitive, self-confidence is a natural state\u00a0of being.\u00a0 It is the state of being completely comfortable with who and what you\u00a0are, independent of what others think of you, or how you perceive<\/em> them to think of you.<\/p>\n

Think about it.\u00a0 Infants will \u2018tell\u2019 you exactly what they\u00a0need and when they need it.\u00a0 No qualms about it.\u00a0 They cry when they are hungry,\u00a0tired, bored or hurt, and they don\u2019t think twice about it. As they grow, they\u00a0will try with all their effort and might to reach an object, sit up, crawl,\u00a0verbalize and engage with you.\u00a0 There is no hesitation in their actions, and\u00a0they certainly don\u2019t stop to think about how others are perceiving their\u00a0efforts, or if another baby is doing it better.\u00a0 They move forward with confidence.\u00a0 Of course, babies receive a lot of\u00a0positive reinforcement during these activities, which does help propel their\u00a0progress forward.<\/p>\n

However, when a baby becomes a toddler and begins to\u00a0understand language and human response, they also learn \u2018stop\u2019 signals.\u00a0 A\u00a0\u2018stop\u2019 signal is a communication that goes against the natural state of being.\u00a0\u00a0Such as, \u2018No, don\u2019t touch\u2019; \u2018do it this way, not that way\u2019; or \u2018that\u2019s\u00a0incorrect, try again.\u2019\u00a0 Of course, these directions are for safety and teaching,\u00a0but they also interfere with the natural state of being confident.\u00a0 This natural\u00a0state is one that drives us forward to act, almost without regard of who we\u00a0are, and definitely without regard to what others think.<\/p>\n

As we grow, we begin to realize the world around us,\u00a0 compare\u00a0ourselves to others, and see the differences between our abilities versus\u00a0others.\u00a0 Perhaps we try to be something or someone we are not, and seek the\u00a0approval of others.\u00a0 This can sometimes result in self-doubt, self-criticism,\u00a0and fear of failure.\u00a0 These are the two basic elements of lacking\u00a0self-confidence; doubt and fear.<\/p>\n

Now for the good news!\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t have to be that way! Even\u00a0if you have struggled with issues of confidence your entire life.\u00a0 You are\u00a0capable of overcoming it, and stepping into a new way of thinking and being.<\/p>\n

Conquering lack of self-confidence begins with realizing\u00a0that it is not all encompassing.\u00a0 A common misconception of people with\u00a0confidence issues is that they think that in order to be confident, it is\u00a0necessary to go around feeling good about everything<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0Not true!\u00a0 Lack of self-confidence may exist in some areas of your life, but not\u00a0in others.\u00a0 Think about the things you can\u00a0<\/em>do well from the simple to the complicated – putting together a nice outfit,\u00a0cooking a great meal, organizing, writing, project management, being strategic\u00a0or visionary, playing an instrument, socializing or speaking a foreign language.\u00a0\u00a0You may be very good at one or more of these things, but not in others.\u00a0 It\u00a0doesn\u2019t mean that you don\u2019t possess the ability to be confident, it\u2019s just that\u00a0in certain<\/em> areas, you don\u2019t feel as\u00a0competent as you either need to be, of feel you ought to be.<\/p>\n

The simple acknowledgement of recognizing your weaknesses\u00a0and accepting that you need to improve in that area is the cornerstone of\u00a0self-confidence.\u00a0 With this acceptance, you give yourself the permission to step\u00a0out of your comfort zone and make mistakes.\u00a0 And you will make mistakes \u2013 and,\u00a0so what?\u00a0 It\u2019s not the end of the world (unless you have a self-image that is\u00a0obliterated by a mistake), it\u2019s the beginning of gaining strength in that area\u00a0by recognizing how you could do better the next time.<\/p>\n

For example, say you lack confidence in the area of\u00a0socializing in a large group setting.\u00a0 You go into a networking event, business\u00a0meeting or social setting with a roomful of successful, bright or seemingly\u00a0perfect people and break out into a cold sweat.\u00a0 Self-doubt, fear of saying\u00a0something stupid, or not knowing what to say, just takes over.<\/p>\n

First, accept it as both a weakness and challenge to improve\u00a0upon. Take on the challenge by strategizing ways to conquer your fear.\u00a0 The best\u00a0way to do this is to visualize an upcoming situation, and imagine yourself\u00a0having a successful encounter.\u00a0 Pick three things and envision doing them\u00a0successfully.\u00a0 The first may be as simple as telling yourself that not every\u00a0person in the room has it all figured out.\u00a0 Second, think of conversation\u00a0starters related to the event and imagine yourself engaging in a meaningful conversation.\u00a0 Play the entire scenario out in your\u00a0mind from beginning to end envisioning yourself entering with confidence,\u00a0having a nice chat with many people in the room, and looking and feeling\u00a0confident for the duration.\u00a0 You will be surprised at how empowering the\u00a0exercise can be, and how it will build faith in your abilities.\u00a0 In fact, the\u00a0word \u2018confidence\u2019 simply means \u2018with faith\u2019, coming from the Latin words con;\u00a0meaning \u2018with\u2019, and fide meaning \u2018faith\u2019.\u00a0 When you think about it, confidence\u00a0is simply moving forward with faith in yourself that you will succeed, or do\u00a0well in a situation.<\/p>\n

The opposite of this behavior is over-thinking the situation\u00a0as it approaches.\u00a0 If you spend time considering every possible horrible\u00a0scenario or feeling that might occur during the event, you\u2019re setting yourself\u00a0up for failure.\u00a0 This type of thinking can lead to avoidance behavior, and make\u00a0you skip the event, situation or activity all together.\u00a0 Replace your \u2018what\u00a0happens if\u2019 thinking with \u2018I wonder what will happen\u2019 thinking, and it will\u00a0empower to go forth with faith in yourself.\u00a0 Each time you try to overcome a\u00a0situation where are fearful, you will build self-confidence by discovering that\u00a0you can make progress in areas you never thought possible.\u00a0 The most important\u00a0part is to always remember to keep your sense of humor.\u00a0 Even if something\u00a0doesn\u2019t go according to plan, try not to take yourself so seriously.\u00a0 Recognize\u00a0where you could have done better, laugh about it, and plan to do a little\u00a0better next time \u2013 because you can do it!<\/p>\n

\u00a9Copyright 2015.\u00a0 Kay Fittes.\u00a0 All Rights Reserved.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Are you lacking confidence in aspects of your professional\u00a0life?\u00a0 Does it seem impossible to imagine that you could ever have the\u00a0confidence necessary to handle certain situations?\u00a0 If it seems everywhere you\u00a0look, confident people dominate the landscape, and you are the exception, take\u00a0heart.\u00a0 The truth is, babies are the most confident people on the planet, not\u00a0adults.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[3,17],"tags":[9,10,6],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7Qkhe-1P","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/113"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=113"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/113\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":484,"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/113\/revisions\/484"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=113"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=113"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.highheeledsuccess.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=113"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}