Tag Archive for Success

| December 22, 2021
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Reaping the Benefits of Rewards

When you read the word “reward,” I am betting your mind immediately went to you rewarding employees, or rewards you might receive from your employer, or rewards you might give to a client for a referral. Did rewarding yourself jump into your brain? The perspective of rewarding yourself may be foreign to you. Maybe you grew up in a family that espoused making your bed, doing the dishes, or taking out the trash were chores you should either want to do or do because you were a member of the family.  Being rewarded for doing these things was not something your family valued. Regardless of the source, somehow you may have received the message that you do not deserve rewards, accomplishing the goal is all the reward you should need. In a utopian world, that might fly but you live in the real world in which changing habits and reaching goals can be tough! There exists a mountain of research for using rewards to reinforce positive behavior. You may long for kindergarten, where you a received a gold star for not eating paste! Rewards can be one of the most powerful gifts you give yourself and others. Today’s parents have used rewards with children very effectively and we can use them as a model for ourselves.  There are many parenting websites that focus on changing children’s behavior through rewards. The Verywell Family parenting site sums it up well:  https://www.verywellfamily.com/behaviors-that-respond-well-to-reward-systems-1094749. Adults can use the same concept. I have a client, who is a business owner, with some new sales goals for her business in 2022. The one major obstacle is getting to the paperwork she hates. That paperwork is necessary to keep the business running and to reaching those goals, but it is boring! She’s an extrovert who is excited and energized by others, being alone doing paperwork is drudgery. We have developed a reward system to get that necessary task done.

Every behavior you want to change, every new habit you want to develop, every goal that you seek can be reinforced by rewards. However, for this to work there may be beliefs you have to let go. You deserve to let go of the belief that to reward is juvenile and to reward is self-indulgent. Why fight what works? Here are components that are part of the system we have devised for her. She is not unique; I have created a similar type of system with many clients. Our first step was to identify what would feel like a reward to her. Then she identified that an hour of paperwork a day will be necessary. She plans to track that and at the end of the week she will assess how she has done. For each daily hour of paperwork, she will give herself a star. If she has five stars at the end of the week, she will go to T.J. Maxx and purchase an outfit; three stars and she’s off to purchase a desk accessory; one star earns her a new eyeliner.

Here are three components to remember when setting up a system like this:

  • The rewards must feel important to YOU! This is your plan, and you don’t have to justify it to anyone.
  • The rewards must be timely, the shorter the gap of time between the behavior and the reward the better.
  • The rewards must be consistent, skipping a reward will diminish the effect of the reinforcement.

This is something I do myself. I own a Michael Kors purse that was purchased as a reward. It is a constant reminder of reaching an important goal.

There are all sorts of challenges you have in the workplace. A toolbelt full of tools is an asset in overcoming those obstacles. Using rewards is one more tool at your disposal.

If you are facing many challenges in your career and not reaching your goals in the workplace, guidance is only a click or a phone call away.

Email Kay@highheeledsuccess.com or call (513) 561-4288 and we will set up a time for a complimentary 45-minute telephone consultation.

Category: Career Path, Leadership, Work/Life Balance, Workplace | Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
| April 19, 2021
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Giving Fantastic Feedback

In a business group I belong to, we have been discussing the importance of feedback, both giving and receiving.  I have addressed receiving feedback in this newsletter previously.  Now let’s talk about giving feedback.  Most people are giving feedback at work daily.  Sometimes it is to colleagues, sometimes to team members, sometime to employees.  You likely have experiences in your history that evidence how you flourished because of some fantastic feedback.

I am betting that one component of your success was by whom it was given.  Perhaps you really admired the giver because of their personal characteristics.  Let’s say they had a career/home balance that you envied.  Maybe, you acknowledged the giver as experienced, you knew they had been there, done that and got the T-shirt. I currently have a client in a traditionally male field that has been mentored by a ground-breaking female in that industry.  She knows the mentor has not only survived the construction industry, but she has thrived.  Could be that the person giving feedback has expertise in an area about which you were clueless!  Early in my business, I craved feedback from individuals that knew marketing and sales inside out.  Why? Yep, you guessed it — CLUELESS! 

Next you valued the why it was given.  You were convinced that they had your best interest at heart.  They might have been trying to keep you from making a huge career mistake.  Let’s say you were interviewing for an internal position under a supervisor they knew had a history of treating her staff poorly.  Or just maybe you are one of those folks that have had a position in their career in which things were not going well.  You were written up previously and someone gave you feedback trying to prevent a “third strike you’re out”.  Likely, you were eternally grateful for that feedback because it kept you from being canned. Let’s say just the opposite, you were on the fast track, doing great.  There was that person that gave you the heads up that if only you did XYZ, you were perfect for a promotion.  I’m betting you were listening with open ears to that feedback.  It’s not uncommon to me to have a client referred to me by her boss because the XYZ feedback was, “When you add polished presentations to your skillset, you will be unstoppable in your career.”

The third component is the how.  Ding, ding, ding!  Even if you admire the person, believe it’s given to you with your success in mind, if it’s given poorly, the receiver may not listen.  It might sound like, “You SHOULD…”, most people resist and rebel with should statements. It might sound condescending, patronizing, or overwhelming.  Loud, poor timing and poor location are additional how factors. The flip side allows the receiver to hear.  It’s crafted as an idea or thought; it’s respectful; it is feasible feedback; and it is given at the right time and place. 

By now, the hope is that you have taken yourself back to receiving feedback and remembered why that feedback worked for YOU!  Also, you can remember why some feedback you ignored, deflected, or rebelled against.  Now it is time for you to put the high heels of the receiver on your giver feet.  Everything that didn’t or did work for you needs to be remembered.  Remembering and internalizing that information gives you a roadmap to being a successful feedback giver.  This won’t guarantee success, but it will up the possibility of a successful outcome. 

One of your goals can be to become a more balanced feedback giver.  There is a spectrum of giving.  You may be a person that is more aware of changes that need to be made, problems that need to be fixed, and tends to only give feedback when there is an issue.  Giving negative feedback is comfortable for you and seems appropriate.  At the other end of the spectrum, are people that want others to feel good, they believe in positive reinforcement, and are rather uncomfortable with conflict and confrontation.  Yet, the person that has good results with giving feedback has developed a balance.  They can and do give both negative and positive feedback.  In my coaching practice, I tend toward wanting to give more feedback that uplifts, inspires, and affirms clients.  Clients, however, hire me to help them over obstacles.  If I never make them aware of what may be tripping them up, then I am sacrificing the success of my client for what is comfortable and common for me.

We have only looked at giving feedback.  You are not an island in this process.  The person receiving your feedback has their own personality style, their own history of feedback, and other issues currently going in their life.  This creates an environment that may make them ripe for taking feedback or a sitting duck for being defensive, blowing up at you, or completely ignoring your feedback.  Plus, you do not want to miss Kay’s Consulting Corner in this newsletter, there I will give you some simple, yet powerful, steps on giving feedback that you will love.  Finally, if you realize that feedback is a career nemesis for you, the advertised VIP Day at the beginning of this newsletter could be a career-changing investment.

If feedback is one of the struggles you are having in your career, know that you are not alone.  This is a challenge for most people.  Let’s set of a time for a complimentary 45-minute telephone consultation to chat about this and how it plays into the coaching I do with clients.  Email Kay@highheeledsuccess.com to get a time for us to talk about this and other steps to your High-Heeled Success.

Category: Career Path, Leadership, Workplace | Tags: , , , ,
| February 24, 2021
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Create Career Buzz!

Lately, I have fielded a lot of questions about how invisible people feel in their career due to the pandemic.  If you are working remotely, this is probably even more of a concern.  You are not being dramatic, jumping to conclusions, or being paranoid.  When you are out of the office, “out of sight, out of mind” is a legitimate concern.  You may go back to your physical workplace in the future and some of you are going to work remotely going forward.  This invisibility does not have to be your fate.  YOU can take the helm of your career, guide it out of choppy waters and into calmer seas.  There are so many things you can’t control right now.  That is one of the many frightening things about the pandemic, the world is unpredictable!  When humans are faced with chaos, having some things they can control can really improve your mental health and your career. 

One of my favorite books is by Pam Lontos, published in 2013, I See Your Name Everywhere.  I was familiar with Pam because her company PR/PR always ran ads in the National Speaker’s Association magazine.  Her book became one of my “go to” guides for my business.  She was THE guru in my estimation.  You should have seen and heard me the day she called me!  Out of the blue, Pam called me and told me she had seen my name recently several times.  Wow!  I was speechless and for those of you that know me well, that doesn’t happen very often.  After some discussion, I found out that she had sold the business and as part of her semi-retirement she was doing consulting.  I could not sign up fast enough. The words Pam consistently drummed into my ears were: leverage and buzz.  You may work in a corporate position, in a non-profit, or in a small business and think creating career buzz does not apply to you.  Hold on, my friend, YES it does.  It’s where, why, and how you create the buzz.

Your first step could likely be making peace with the concept of creating buzz about yourself.  Some of you can hear your mother saying, “Don’t brag, don’t sound conceited, don’t toot your own horn.”  It’s time to tell mother to “zip it!”  You likely didn’t just get this message at home.  You may have gotten this same message in your schooling, church, community, media, or society at large.  If you don’t leverage your successes, accomplishments and awards you are missing great opportunities to advance your career.  Replacing that message with that of the great humorist, Will Rogers, is powerful.  Good ole Will said, “If you done it, it ain’t bragging.”  This is different from seeming needy, screaming for affirmation isn’t career enhancing, either.  

With whom could you highlight your successes, accomplishments, awards, etc.?  Here are a few to get you rolling:

  • Your former bosses
  • Your former co-workers
  • Your former mentors
  • Your alma mater
  • Your professional associations
  • Your networking groups
  • Your closer professional network
  • Your social media connections
  • Your current boss
  • Your next level up
  • Your current mentor
  • Your current sponsor (people who have opened doors and opportunities for you)
  • Your sorority
  • Your community
  • Volunteer causes that you participate in

One of my clients is a dynamo.  I know it and she is realizing it.  On our coaching calls we often start the session with celebration of her current successes.   I acknowledge her successes, the talent it took and the effort it took to achieve it.  Next, I ask, “How are you going to leverage that?”  At first, she was resistant, as she had been socialized to be very humble about her successes.  Then she got to the point where she would beat me to the punch and say, “I know, how am I going to leverage that?”  Now she leads with, “Here is what I have done to leverage that.”  It’s a process. 

One of the most effective steps I have taken is to create a “Buzz Buddy System”.  You can give a shout out on social media, inter-office message boards, company online newsletters about your buddy’s success!  You can say laudatory statements about them that they might be uncomfortable saying about themselves.  Make sure this is reciprocal. It feels great to know that you are assisting a co-worker, colleague, or friend advance their career.   It is possible to leverage your successes and create buzz about you!

Perhaps this entire article makes your skin crawl, but you know it would be valuable to create some “buzz”.  You don’t have to jump over this career hurdle alone.  Call me at (513) 561-4288 or email me at Kay@highheeledsuccess.com.  We can schedule a complimentary consultation to discuss this and other steps to your High-Heeled Success.

Category: Career Path, Leadership, Workplace | Tags: , , , ,
| October 23, 2019
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Commanding Leadership More Important Than Likability

Most of us want to be liked as we go through our day – it’s more pleasant, even more comfortable.  Being liked in the workplace, however, isn’t the most advantageous quality for your career advancement and can even be a trap for women as they navigate a balance between traditionally masculine and feminine traits or characteristics.

I got the idea to write about this topic after reading the opinion piece, “How Women Escape the Likability Trap,” by Joan C. Williams, a professor of law and director of the Center for WorkLife Law at the University of California Hastings College of the Law, published in The New York Times on August 18, 2019.

“There has been a lot of talk recently in the political arena about the likability trap for women:  Women who behave in authoritative ways risk being disliked as insufferable prima donnas, pedantic schoolmarms or witchy women,” writes Williams.

Williams goes on to write about how successful women overcome this form of gender bias.  It was enlightening for me to read her take on this important topic.

In my many years of career coaching and mentoring women to overcome challenges in the workplace, I have found three of the most common traps women can fall into.  We call them likability traps, and these are the most common:

  • Being the office mom is the worst direction you can possibly go.  This is such a common trap for women, because we’re care givers in so many other aspects of our lives.  When you bring this to the office, however, a nurturing demeanor with a willingness to take care of everyone puts you in a subordinate role.  While this is most common for women, it can be a serious dilemma for both men and women.
  • Depending on traditional feminine style is too easy.  Most women find that they rely on using 90% traditional feminine style and 10% more traditionally masculine style to navigate at the office.  When you spend most of the time trying to use traditional female techniques to win people over, you give up the strength and power that should be part of your leadership style.  Unless we have the courage to do something differently, we will continue to maintain a system where we let men take the lead and the system will not change.
  • Avoid gender displays.  Sometimes called anthropologic displays, gender displays include examples such as always wearing pink lipstick or always wearing a skirt to attempt to counterbalance a more commanding leadership style.  This is so dangerous when you fall into this likability trap.  When a woman resorts to gender displays, she continues to propagate viewing a woman as an object, usually without even realizing what she’s doing.  This can be very distressing.

Now that we know what to watch for, what can we do about these likability traps?  First, delete from your vocabulary (and your way of thinking) terms like femininity and masculinity.  Instead think in terms of the appropriate tools to use for the circumstances, such as collaboration or even command.

Collaboration and consensus-building are vital when you’re seeking input from others.  It’s always a good idea to solicit additional ideas from others when you’re trying to brainstorm or bring creativity into your workplace.  These skills – collaboration and consensus-building – are absolutely essential to certain situations.  That is not about being feminine or masculine – that is simply smart!

Take each situation for what it is and ask yourself “What works situationally?”  Go another step and ask, “What gives me the outcome I’m looking for?”  When we want input, creative ideas and buy-in to build consensus, use your smart skills and avoid relying on a gender crutch.

On the other hand, there are many occasions when you need a commanding style.  When someone needs to step up and take the lead, when no one else is stepping up or when time is of the essence, being the team member who can take command and lead a group to a resolution is incredibly valuable.

As you’re assessing the situation, be ready for the times when you can’t go down the collaborative, consensus building road, because you need to make a decision.  If you recognize the opportunity, you will shine!

If you recognize any of these likability traps in your workplace relationships and need help developing a strategy to overcome them, please give me a call at 513-561-4288 or connect with me via email at kay@highheeledsuccess.com.

Category: Career Path, Leadership, Workplace | Tags: , , , ,
| May 2, 2019
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Know Your Value, Improve Your Life

Did you know that April 2 was Equal Pay Day?  We all know April 15 is when our tax returns are due; however, Equal Pay Day marks the 3 plus additional months that a woman needs to work to earn as much as a man earned the previous year.  In other words, she’s working a full year plus three more months just to catch up with what a man earns for doing the same job.  You got it!

While this is maddening, frustrating, and certainly nothing new, let’s talk about the toll this takes on you.  And more importantly, I want to help each individual realize their full work value, as well as what we can do collectively to move the needle toward pay equity.  It has been well-researched that people who make more money have improved health, so think about your own well-being and the health of your relationships.

Whether you’re taking care of your children, your parents or your pets, they are at risk when you’re undervalued and/or not receiving the salary you deserve.  When you’re out of balance with money in a relationship, it almost always causes conflict.  If you deserve to be making more or getting a promotion that you’re not, think of the impact you could have on your own health and the lives of those you love by advocating for yourself.

Think about your future retirement.  If you’re living at a basic level of subsistence without putting money away for retirement, you’ll become dependent on family, the government or charity to provide for life’s basic necessities when you’re no longer able to work.  That’s not how anyone wants to live her life, yet you have to know your value to ask for what you’re worth and plan for the future.

Why do so many women get relegated to less-valuable status?  First research continues to indicate there is rampant bias based on gender and salary, regardless of the field.  Plus, unfortunately, many women are operating out of fear – fear of push back, even fear of rejection.  For a lot of women, they are actually in denial about all the ramifications of not getting paid what they’re worth.  By denying the risks and overall impact of being undervalued, too many women are afraid to ask for what they want, which is a powerless position.

In order to take back the power, you need to do your homework and research the numbers.  By comparing, studying and researching standard salaries for positions in your particular field in your part of the country, you will know your value in your industry, your company, your particular line of work.

To put it all in perspective of where we are today, women generally make 80 cents on each dollar that every man makes.  It has been predicted that it will take 100 years for women to close that gap.  We’re not going to live that long, but our daughters and granddaughters will.  As I see it, this is not only important for you, your well-being and your future, we have to keep taking steps forward as part of the legacy we want to leave behind.

To learn more, visit  https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2019/04/02/national-equal-pay-day-2019-gender-wage-gap/3298020002/

If you are not getting paid what you are worth and need guidance to get there, let me coach you to that result.  Call Kay at 513-561-4288 or email kay@highheeledsuccess.com.

Category: Career Path, Workplace | Tags: , , , ,
| February 20, 2019
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Shift Your Perspective, Make Yourself the Priority

It’s the middle of February.  The days are getting a bit longer, but not long enough.  Unfortunately, it’s too early for spring fever.  It’s at this time of year, we try even harder to maintain healthy habits and relationships to stay productive and keep from finding ourselves in a slump.

As we think about our self-care, let’s flip the script and make the workplace the first place you think about taking care of you.  Rather than self-care being something that happens outside of work in the evenings and on the weekends, self-care can become a natural part of your workday.

There’s always more that can be done and, even if you’re the CEO, work brings pressure and demands.  I’m here to help you remember that YOU COUNT and sometimes you need to put yourself first.

Setting boundaries at the office will help you avoid doing your colleague’s work.  Even if you have to practice saying the word “no” out loud, then practice and apply the skill at work.  Do not worry about whether you’re being nice or not.  You do not have to be a friend to everyone.

If you say “yes” to everything, the workload adds more stress.  This slippery slope could cause you to take work home at night.  For example, one client is so susceptible to not setting boundaries and taking work home, which then cuts into time with her daughter at home.  Her solution is to have a photo of her daughter right by her computer as a constant reminder.

There’s a clear line between wanting to be valuable and having positive work relationships vs. allowing others to take advantage of your good nature.  Think about where the line is and set parameters for yourself and your relationships with co-workers.

Always remember your own priorities.  If you allow others to derail you with their issues, you will allow someone else’s negative perspective to throw off your own game.  Even worse, if you allow other people’s priorities to take over, you will relinquish your own work goals and priorities.

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
– Anne Lamott

As with so many issues and opportunities in life, you need to be your own advocate in the workplace.  If you need to put a post-it on your computer, do it.  Always be asking yourself what you want and need in the workplace.

As an example, conferences, continuing education and leadership training are vital to your growth and advancement on the job.  You don’t get to go, if you don’t ask.  Even if there have been budget cuts, ask and make the case for why you, why now.  Another example, I have a client who has back issues.  She has not yet asked for a better ergonomic chair, because she thinks it will “seem selfish.”

The problem with not speaking up for yourself is that you could be reducing your own productivity.  The last thing you need or want is for something so simple to keep you from being a good or even a great member of the work team.  There’s no skirting around this one – you have to be your own self advocate at work.

If you’re having trouble being the best you can be at work, you could be neglecting some of these basic self-care principles.  Please give me a call at 513-561-4288 or connect with me via email at kay@highheeledsuccess.com, so we can empower you to achieve your goals.

Category: Career Path, Uncategorized, Work/Life Balance, Workplace | Tags: , , , ,
| October 30, 2018
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Boss Requires Relationship Management Too

While you probably think of management as the relationship you have with the people who work for you, management is a two-way street and your boss requires some relationship management too.  Even if you’re an entrepreneur, you may have a similar relationship with a board chair or someone else in your sphere of influence.

First of all, it’s important to understand that managing the boss is not selling out or acquiescing to anything.  Managing the boss and thinking about how best to do that does not mean you love everything she/he does.  This is like so many other issues we discuss in career coaching.  There’s a balance, so be smart!

Let’s start with an easy one.  You have a responsibility to try to make your boss look good.  When you do your job well, she has an opportunity to shine with her boss.  You can also go beyond doing your job well to taking something off the boss’s plate – something that she doesn’t particularly like to do – and making her look good.

Don’t become indispensable to your boss.  In other words, it’s nice to take the occasional task off boss’s plate; however, not so much that you become indispensable.  If you do that, you could become someone, he will not promote because he couldn’t bear to lose you.

Think about managing your boss as finessing the boss.  Ask yourself what does he/she value, how does she think or what motivates him?  If you have an understanding of what makes her tick, you’ll be better able to manage and finesse your relationship with the boss.

A very important way to advance at work is to demonstrate that you have ideas for change and solutions to problems.  These ideas, however, are only as good as the ability to sell them and get them implemented to prove your value.  Think about your boss, what is her communication style or workplace lingo.  Talk to her in a way that speaks to her communication style as the best way to sell your ideas.

I have always found that keeping one step ahead of the boss at work is a great way to be recognized and rewarded.  Everybody has a full plate; everybody is busy.  If you can stay a step ahead of your boss, anticipating his/her needs, then you are more likely to please the boss and get ahead.

So you see, it’s all about relationship, like so many things.  Management is not just for your subordinates; management also applies to your coworkers, colleagues and your boss.  Regardless of whether your boss is a man or a woman, these basic rules for relationship management apply.

Employees and bosses both have their issues, because we’re human and certain personality chemistry clicks while other personalities might clash.  At work, this is not about being friends, this is about learning to examine the situation, how you can lead within your team and manage your relationship with your boss.

Please give me a call at 513-561-4288 or connect with me via email at kay@highheeledsuccess.com, so we can empower you to achieve that goal.

Category: Career Path, Uncategorized, Workplace | Tags: , ,
| August 16, 2018
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Risk-Taking 101: Find Balance

 “You can’t be successful in business without taking risks.  It’s really that simple.” 

–Adena Friedman, President and CEO of Nasdaq

Taking risks is necessary in business; however, you don’t want to be the one who jumps into anything or the one who lags behind and misses an opportunity.  Hopefully, after thinking this through with me, you’ll be able to find your sweet spot – being both confident and completely aware as you make a risky decision.  If you have any questions, after reading this, I’m always here to coach and support you!

First of all, there are three types of risk-takers:  jumpers, ruminators and sweet spot riskers.  Jumpers don’t exercise due diligence.  Jumpers are unrealistic about the circumstances, their resources and possibly time management.  Jumpers might be unrealistic about the potential revenue, haven’t thought about how time consuming something is and generally have blinders on.

For example, I had a client who was starting a business.  She chose to spend an excessive amount of money for website, rent office space hired an expensive staff member.  She has been working overtime just to cover her expenses and has not been able to turn a profit.

Ruminators tend to go over and over information, stalling and failing to make a decision.  Ruminators are driven by fear.  The numbers make sense, yet they do more research and more research.

Sweet spot riskers – that’s where you want to land by finding balance between facilitating the necessary due diligence and moving forward because the facts present themselves.  You have what you need to make a clear, reasoned and thoughtful decision.

When you have an opportunity that requires risk and are trying to follow a process that will help you find the correct level of risk, think QCAT as the acronym to find your sweet spot.

Q for Quick – be quick but not hasty and set a timeline for decision making

C for Committed – be committed, but not rigid, and if new data presents itself that suggests a change of direction, be ready to change

A for Analytical – be analytical, but do not over analyze and use data to push through fear

T for Thoughtful – be thoughtful, but not obsessive

Personally, I tend to be more of a ruminator.  When I first started my own business; however, I was a “jumper.”  So I’ve experienced the extremes and have used these exact same techniques over the years to find my own sweet spot for risk-taking.

If you would like to walk through these steps with someone who has been there and are eager to make a greater impact in your career, it would be my honor to be part of that process with you.  Please give me a call at 513-561-4288 or connect with me via email at kay@highheeledsuccess.com, so we can empower you to achieve that goal.

Category: Career Path, Leadership, Uncategorized, Workplace | Tags: , , , ,
| June 26, 2018
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Emotional Intelligence is a Critical Factor for Success

Self-Awareness, Emotions, Empathy at Work

While you might not think much about the topic of emotional intelligence, it’s an issue that comes up frequently during my individual client sessions.  Putting your best foot forward as an emotionally intelligent boss and co-worker is a need in the workplace, a need for anyone who manages people.

By definition, emotional intelligence is the capacity to be aware of your feelings, being in control of them and able to express them.  For example, if you’re going to succeed with challenging employees, the administrator needs to set the tone.  The administrator needs to serve as the model for what you want others to emulate.

Historically, the foundation of emotional intelligence was laid when Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., wrote his 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence (Bantam Books), which helped to explain the differences between traditional IQ (intelligence quotient) and EI.  The book was on The New York Times bestseller list for a year-and-a-half and is available around the world in 40 languages.

The next major resource to come along was the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, written by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, Ph.D., which provides case studies, tools and techniques to improve your emotional intelligence.  In fact, Dr. Greaves is co-founder and CEO of TalentSmart, Inc., and the website talentsmart.com is a great resource to learn more.

Now, emotional intelligence is very much part of the fabric and conversation in any workplace.  If you work in a large company, you could probably talk to the human resources department to find out if you have taken or could take a formalized EI assessment.  When assessing EI, you’ll be looking at overall social awareness, relationship management and your ability to empathize with others.

If you find an area is lacking in yourself or your employees, there are strategies for improvement and some people can benefit from identifying an EI mentor – someone who seems to get along and understand others.  A mentor can be responsible for queuing you if you talk too long or if you misread communication.

For example, if an employee has negative reactions to someone else’s behavior and there is emotional fallout due to low self-awareness, this situation needs to be managed.  Or if you find employees want to leave a department because they don’t want to work with her, or headaches and stomach problems are being caused by a difficult co-worker, these situations need to be managed too.

5 Components of Emotional Intelligence

  • Self-awareness
  • Self-regulation or emotional control
  • Motivators
  • Empathy
  • Social skills

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When it comes to social and relationship skills, we’re not just talking about charm.  As human beings interact with each other, we need to be able to interpret voice, facial expressions and body language.

Certain careers, such as information technology, engineering and research, require a high IQ; however, without emotional intelligence, success can hit a certain ceiling.  Both qualities are needed to be successful.  From Abraham Lincoln to Temple Grandin and Bill Gates, there have been many recognizable people who have lacked relationship skills.

Whether you decide to take a self-assessment or talk to a colleague for mentorship, it’s critical to identify where you have strengths or where you might need some emotional intelligence work to do.  A perfect opportunity to dig in on this topic is during your next job review.  Is there a tool or can your boss provide some guidance in this area?  A performance review is a gift to both the employee and the employer, so be smart and take advantage to help you put your best foot forward!

If you are eager to make a greater impact in your career, it would be my honor to be part of that process with you.  Please give me a call at 513-561-4288 or connect with me via email at kay@highheeledsuccess.com, so we can empower you to achieve that goal.

©Copyright 2018.  Kay Fittes.  All Rights Reserved.

Category: Career Path, Leadership, Uncategorized, Workplace | Tags: , , ,
| February 14, 2018
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Don’t Let Women’s Unique Vulnerabilities Get in Your Way

It’s February, the middle of winter…blah, blah, blah, am I right?!   While we’re plugging along at work and also juggling the many roles women have, we often struggle to take care of ourselves.  Valentine’s Day and Heart Health Month remind me that this is the most important time to be sure that we value and love ourselves first.  My mentor mantra for women is: Take care of yourself, so you can be the best version of yourself with your family and in the workplace.

Throughout my decades-long career of coaching women to achieve the next level of success, I have become very aware of the fact that women have their own unique vulnerabilities.  While we strive to achieve c-suite level careers and equal pay in both the corporate and non-profit sectors, along with increased opportunities to start our own businesses, we cannot ignore that women’s life stages and ever-changing roles are unique.

My High-Heeled Success® list of women’s unique vulnerabilities is below.  Please read the list and honestly assess which of these eight characterize you and don’t flip out if they all do.  That’s not uncommon.  Think of this as a self-assessment, and maybe pick one or two that you can work on right away.

Women’s Unique Vulnerabilities

  • Tendency to belittle and de-value themselves
  • Strong need for perfectionism
  • Allowing emotions and feelings to color their experiences
  • Doing more than one task at a time
  • Assuming much responsibility from role overload
  • Difficulty relinquishing control
  • Difficulty nurturing self
  • Taking stress everywhere they go

Now that you’ve taken time to focus on yourself, to assess yourself, you’ve taken a high-heeled step or a track shoe leap in the right direction.  The beautiful thing, the loving thing is to care for yourself this Valentine’s Day and every day.  When you take this time for yourself, hopefully doing for others – whether it’s volunteering at the local homeless shelter, helping a child with his or her class valentines, planning a night out or caring for parents or in-laws – will bring you more joy.  Without time for you, the caring can reap resentment.

As long as you acknowledge what our unique vulnerabilities are, note them and think about how you can manage them, you will be surprised by how the results will also impact your work-life balance and your career success.

If you are eager to make a greater impact in your career, it would be my honor to be part of that process with you.  Please give me a call at 513-561-4288 or connect with me via email at kay@highheeledsuccess.com, so we can empower you to achieve that goal.

©Copyright 2018.  Kay Fittes.  All Rights Reserved.

Category: Career Path, Work/Life Balance, Workplace | Tags: , , , , ,
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